You know how the common culture tells us that we can have it all? We can take on motherhood, a career, marriage, great friendships, a perfect house, hobbies, pets… and still somehow be together and happy! What I want to know is, just who the fool is that came up with that insanity.
The other night, we had come home a little later than usual because we had an event to go to. The kids had all run around like crazy with their friends, there was good food, everyone had a great time. Overall, the night was a success, and now, it was time to get the kids to bed. It was a Sunday evening, and even though it wasn’t late, it was still slightly later than their usual bedtime. Being a school night, I was focused on getting everyone bathed and ready for bed. It was about 9:00pm when my husband’s voice could be heard throughout the house, yelling about the mess in one of the kids’ rooms. Clothes and toys had been thrown and stuffed into closets and drawers, a full basket of clean clothes was sitting in the middle of the room, and he was furious. Me? I couldn’t help but wonder why in the world he was even worried about it at this particular moment.
We can’t truly have it all. Just like on that night, I had to balance what needed to be prioritized: my kids needed to go to bed. A clean room could wait until later. And that’s just the way it goes.
READ: This Holiday Season, Give Yourself the Gift of Grace
Sometimes, we have to accept that certain things will need to fall by the wayside. Maybe it’s not forever, but juggling everything at the same time constantly, day in and day out, is nothing but a recipe for disaster. As I’ve gotten older, I’m trying harder to prioritize my own mental health, and that means learning to let some things go. I don’t need to have it all. It’s OK if my house is a little bit messy because we did something fun with my kids — or maybe, it’s messy because I was really focused on a big project at work. Some weekends, the kids didn’t get to do something fun because instead, my husband and I recognized that we needed time together, and went on a date night instead. But when I’m constantly putting pressure on myself to do All The Things, because somehow, I feel like not doing everything makes me a failure, all that ends up happening is that I become stressed out and miserable — and by extension, so does my family. It is simply not humanly possible to juggle a career, a family, a clean home, relationships, and self care all at the same thing. Some things are inevitably going to have to give.
There aren’t endless hours in the day. Money doesn’t grow on trees. We have to prioritize, and let balls drop sometimes. By recognizing that really, we can’t have it all, all the time, we might find ourselves a little bit closer to happiness instead.
