From the earliest stages of motherhood, we all survive on the promise that it gets better. When we’re home with a newborn, sleep-deprived and in pain, we dream about when that screaming baby will become more self-sufficient. When they’re toddlers, we desperately cling to the promise of elementary school, when they’ll be out of the house… but then there’s the fighting and the whining and the beginnings of preteen attitude. And then, there are the dreaded teenage years, when everything you do as a parent is wrong, wrong wrong.
Basically? No matter what age your kid is, the struggle is way too real.
I’m the lucky mom to six kids, spread out in ages between five and 15. And let me tell you, toddlers and teenagers are basically the same thing. Sure, the specifics may be different, but the temper tantrums, the whining, and the complete and utter focus on themselves and no one else? Yeah, that’s all pretty much the same. Both toddlers and teenagers can be some of the most entitled, self-absorbed, greedy people on the planet.
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Now, don’t get me wrong — that doesn’t mean they don’t have their good moments. Toddlers do adorable things like pick flowers for you and give you hugs; teenagers have moments of brilliance and altruism that give you glimpses of the amazing adult they’ll one day become. And even more than that, neither toddlers or teenagers can help it, of course. They’re flooded with hormones, confused about everything changing around them, while confronting huge, huge feelings that they don’t quite understand or know how to control. It’s no wonder they act the way they do!
But man. Understanding that reality doesn’t make it any easier, does it?
When my kids were toddlers, I was so sure that once they could talk more and do more on their own, they would be easier. And in a sense, they were; elementary school is kind of like the calm before the storm. Then they get to middle school, and suddenly, everyone’s worried about being “cool,” and how they need to have a smart phone… and that’s like the appetizer to a teenager’s main course. When the teen years come, it’s like you’re back to dealing with toddlers again, except they’re bigger, sulkier toddlers who want more expensive things.
The truth is, parenting doesn’t really get any better. It’s hard, no matter how old your kids are or what stage of life they’re in. The struggle becomes different, but it doesn’t become easier. When it’s toddlers, you’re stressed over screaming and stubbornness; with teenagers, there’s less screaming and more passive-aggression while you worry about cyber-bullying and what pictures are being sent on Snapchat. Either way, it’s always hard, but the good news is that as hard as it may be, there are always those silver linings that come with it.
