Mamas, with July more than half over, I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing… shall we call it “Summer Break Burnout?” I was all excited for summer break about two months ago, and now… well, let’s just say seeing Back-to-School signs slowly going up is not exactly making me cry. While the extra time my little and I get to spend together this season has been a blessing in many ways, I think I can safely say that both of us are getting amped for the first day of school next month.
I’ve been reflecting lately how summer can be an extremely challenging time for us mamas. We go from a much more structured daily routine to… well, if not exactly chaos, something that certainly resembles the “second cousin twice removed” branch of the same family tree. For those of us also trying to juggle work outside the home, the dramatic loss of childcare that school affords us can be downright financially devastating, and for stay-at-home-moms, it can certainly affect how we try to run our households (shoutout here to the homeschooling moms, who never get the type of break that those of us with kiddos in school get nine months out of the year!). Bottom line: summer break is a beautiful time to share with our little(s)… but it can be harder than most people feel comfortable admitting as well. As I’ve been thinking through this, I’ve reflected on how easy it is for us moms to stop prioritizing self-care during this season, and how damaging that can be.
Mamas, if I can give you a bit of advice during this season, it is this: fill your cup, because you won’t be able to pour into your little(s)’s cups if you have absolutely nothing to pour. I have no idea why society/mom culture/etc. seems to think that encouraging moms to run themselves completely empty is a good idea — is that what we want for our own child(ren) if/when they become parents? Certainly not — so why are we tempted to model it? When I was preparing to give birth to my daughter (more on that in a minute), I was astounded by how many people said things to me like “Enjoy showering now… you won’t have time for that when the baby comes!”. I remember thinking to myself, “Well, even with the baby, I’m still going to take the time to shower every day,” because that is something that is important to me (and as a hygiene-obsessed OCD-type, a non-negotiable aspect of not just self-care, but my mental health). Guess what? My daughter is five-and-a-half… and I’ve never missed a shower, because that was something that was highly important to me. Whatever your non-negotiable is, and it quite possibly looks different than mine, prioritize it. Lean into it. I promise, it doesn’t make you a bad mother… in fact, quite the opposite. You will bless your children more by taking care of yourself. They need to see mamma not just healthy, but happy.
READ: You Actually Can’t Have It All: Accepting Reality in Motherhood
In closing, I promised to share a bit more about my birth experience, and it’s only fitting that I do so this week of the summer, as July 16-22 of this year marks Birth Trauma Awareness Week (BTAW). An event that begins on the third Sunday of July, BTAW gives those of us mammas who experienced any form of birth trauma a voice, a platform, and a time to have our experience validated. In my case, I went from thinking I would have a relatively drama-free delivery, to needing a C-section… to shortly thereafter, hemorrhaging and experiencing a prolapsed uterus. I nearly needed a hysterectomy just to stop the bleeding, and the birth trauma, quite honestly, left me deeply scarred. That experience, coupled with very severe PPD/PPA, has absolutely influenced my quality of life, even to this day — and I found that only reinforced the importance of self-care to keep on “momming.” As a special note here, I would also like to advocate for the importance of therapy and medication for depression/anxiety if necessary. There is NO SHAME in admitting you need some help to process though trauma, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Can I encourage you to take some time with what is left of this week, and think through what self-care might look like for you? Maybe you are reading this article, and you already have a solid self-care plan in place for your health and sanity. If so, I toast you with my heartiest wine (Scrubs reference!). But maybe you have been reading this, and thinking to yourself, Self-care? What is that? I’ve been so focused on my family that I have no idea what I need. If that is you, sweet mama, I’m here to tell you that self-care isn’t selfish… it’s health care. You were a whole person before becoming a mama, and that woman still matters. She matters for you, and she matters for your beloved little(s)…so if it’s been a while, consider getting reacquainted with her this week. Spend some time remembering what delights her, and watch yourself bloom again.
And that, my friends, is how we have an amazing rest of our summer break… without breaking.
Do you have a story to share for Birth Trauma Awareness Week? Feel free to share it in the comments.
