International Self-Care Day is celebrated annually on July 24!
The word “self-care” originated in the 1950s, and continued to gain popularity during the civil rights movement. While there was always the obvious need to care for others, people started to acknowledge that they also needed to tend to themselves.
I can’t count how many times I’ve been told to practice self-care in the past. Whether it was during a grad school class, postpartum, or a professional development presentation, self-care honestly felt like a chore for me over the past decade. It almost seemed like an expectation for me to “chill” so I could be 100% for others. This is where “self-care” has some blurred lines. While self-care can certainly be a helpful tool so that we can be more present for others, what makes it more poignant is acknowledging that you deserve it.
Yes, I said that correctly! You deserve to take care of your needs, be it physical, mental, emotional, social, or spiritual. I’ve noticed my time is exponentially better spent when I remind myself that I’m worthy of taking time for me, rather than feeling guilty. There’s a lot of pressure on us moms. We’re expected to walk a tightrope of so many extremes – be firm yet gentle in discipline, don’t care so much about the mess but keep things tidy when it counts, provide nutritious meals but don’t deprive them either. The list goes on and on for all of the things society (and our brains) tell us we should be. Self-care falls into this category too (e.g., take some time for you but make sure it’s productive).
READ: You Are Not Alone: Mental Health Awareness
How do we break down the walls of deep-seated guilt and unrealistic expectations in order to truly practice self-care?
My biggest gift to share with you on International Self-Care Day is self-affirmations. If you’re anything like me, when it’s quiet time or when you lay down at night, you ruminate over all of the things you wish you would’ve done differently. It may be the words you wish you could take back, comparing yourself to other moms who have different talents, or the chore that just didn’t get done. It can feel never-ending! This pattern is actually the opposite of self-care. In these moments, we use the time meant for relaxation and recharging to tear ourselves down further. Self-affirmations have helped to heal and (sometimes) prevent me from falling back into negative thought patterns.
How does it work? If this is something new for you, it can be helpful to write down some general self-affirmations, which can be found online with a quick Google search. Select a few that resonate with you and write them down. When you begin to develop negative thought patterns, pull out your list and read them. Even just reading a few statements can transform self-deprecation into self-appreciation. As you continue to practice self-affirmations, you’ll eventually create your own. It’ll be a few statements that are meaningful to you and express self-love. Self-love is a wild concept, isn’t it? I even hesitate writing “I love myself”, although I’m okay writing “I’m learning to love myself.”
What if I try it, and it feels weird? I get that. It can feel very foreign to affirm yourself. Most of us have grown up thinking that saying such things come off as arrogant or vain. Here’s the difference though: you are the audience, and no one else. Think of how many minutes you’ve spent tearing yourself down. Isn’t it time to invest time in building yourself up for once? Remember, you deserve it!
Here are some of my personal favorites:
- I am enough.
- Look how far I’ve come.
- My body is powerful.
- Sometimes saying “no” is the healthiest choice.
- I am proud of where I’m at and where I’m continuing to go.
On International Self-Care Day, I could’ve given you a laundry list of self-care activities to go ahead and try out. But truthfully, I’m tired of the lists and suggestions. You know what you love to do and what calms you – trust that! I think the jewel of self-affirmation is something worth more than all of the lists of activities. Self-care starts internally. So, yes – do all of the fun activities, go out with friends, rest and recharge, but please please never forget how worthy you are to care for yourself. You deserve it, mom!
