You Are Not Alone – National Suicide Prevention Month

Suicide can often feel like a taboo topic in society. It seems that, unless you’ve lost a loved one to suicide, no one quite knows how to broach the subject. In recent years, I’ve noticed two common extremely polarizing approaches. The first is completely ignoring the subject altogether – out of sight, out of mind. If someone shares that a loved one or acquaintance is struggling with suicidal thoughts, we may politely acknowledge the seriousness of the issue, offer thoughts and prayers, and then quickly change the subject to something seemingly lighter. It’s not that we don’t care, but rather, we don’t really know what to say or, if we do think we know what to say, it’s more offering suggestions of what can be done to “cure” this person. The second approach is fixating on the idea of suicide, to the point that it’s sensationalized. For instance, when a celebrity dies by suicide or a popular TV show gains notoriety (think 13 Reasons Why from a few years back), people begin to talk. While this may seem like a positive step in the right direction, I’ve found that it’s not normally healthy conversation centered around mental health, but instead, ill-directed gossip (e.g., how did they choose to end their life, did anyone do or say anything to incite them, a deep dive into a famous persons’ Wikipedia page to figure out what went “wrong”, and so on).

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While I do understand that there are many people in the world who approach the topic of suicide with great care, I worry that many of us don’t give it the appropriate time or attention it deserves in order to raise awareness and work towards further prevention.

During my career as a school counselor, I worked with many students who had suicidal thoughts and self-injurious behaviors. I can recall one school year where I completed about 80 risk assessments, and referred 60 of those students to the hospital for further evaluation. That’s about 8% of that school’s population getting referred for mental health supports! Unfortunately, during that time, what I witnessed were some (not all) very upset families who refused to pursue treatment, overcrowded inpatient facilities for families who were able to get their child supports, and same-aged peers spending time together encouraging one another to continue to engage in self-injurious behaviors because they couldn’t find anything else to numb the thoughts. My years spent in the school system quickly opened my eyes how many young people experience suicidal ideation and self-injury.

So, what can we do?

• Reach out to loved ones who seem to be struggling. Be a listening ear and recommend help if needed. While providing support, also remember that you are not solely in charge of helping to “fix” or “save” that person. You can provide care and direct them to professional supports, but you can only do so much to help before other services might be needed.
• Educate yourself on the supports that are present in your local community. That way, if someone shares they are having suicidal thoughts, you can point them to crisis, a hotline number, or a counseling center.
• Advocate and raise awareness by sharing your knowledge with others and/or participating in awareness days. Many communities have Out of the Darkness Walks (hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention). A few years ago, I participated in one in Harrisburg, and it was a great way to shed light on suicide while also honoring loved ones who had passed away. I walked for my friend, John, who passed away in February of 2019. I think about him often, and wish he would have shared his struggles so that we could have known how to help him.
• Don’t be afraid to share your own story of mental health. Life can be so terribly hard. We need one another to get by. By sharing your struggles, it may help someone else to open up and share theirs.
• Push to normalize mental health discussion and supports in schools and other areas of your community. Let’s set an example by letting the younger generation know it’s okay to not be okay, and that there is help available.

May we use this month as a means to connect, support, and lift one another up. And please remember, you are never alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call or text the Pennsylvania Crisis Line at 988.  They are available to talk 24/7 at no cost to you.