I have an 11-year-old son with Down syndrome, and most days, his extra chromosome doesn’t get much attention from me. For the most part, I don’t think about it, because it doesn’t affect us on a very regular basis. Wyatt is just Wyatt, and inside our home, his developmental delays or his physical differences don’t matter to anyone. But outside, it’s a very different — and lonely — picture.
This weekend, as an example, we went on a family outing to a fall festival, and we all had a great time. But I couldn’t help but notice that Wyatt was the only person with Down syndrome there. That’s a common occurrence, too; I see the occasional adult with Down syndrome here and there, but for the most part, it feels rather lonely.
READ: World Down Syndrome Day: The Time For Inclusion is Now
It doesn’t help that Wyatt’s typical peers seem less-than-enthused to make friends with a kid with disabilities. Friends of our other kids come over and ask why he’s so “weird,” or why he looks so different, or why he still does things like babies do. He’s not included in their games. He’s 11 years old, and has not been invited on one single play date, or to one birthday party… ever.
October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and let’s be honest: it gets overshadowed. Like, a lot. There are much bigger and more well-known issues taking precedence, like Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And it’s a lonely life, knowing that Wyatt’s only opportunities at friends are, evidently, with other kids who have Down syndrome (or other developmental disabilities). It seems to be asking for the impossible for him to have able-bodied and neurotypical friends, which makes me so sad for him.
This month, there’s only one thing I want people to know: inclusion and acceptance mean much more than just “allowing” kids like Wyatt to go to the same school as their neurotypical peers. (Let’s get real — inclusion in schooling is the bare minimum, and is, quite frankly, a civil rights issue.) But if your kids have children with Down syndrome in their school, are they included? Are they invited for play date or birthday parties or sleepovers? Wyatt may have developmental delays, but he has feelings. He likes to run and play, just like any other kid. He wants to be included, just like everyone else. And he deserves that much. Every child does.
