“What’s your New Year’s resolution going to be this year?” I dread this question, because I am terrible at making a New Year’s resolution. I have stopped making them, and have started working on loving who I am instead. Sometimes that’s a pretty scary thing to dive into, especially if you have spent years putting yourself on the back burner. But I want to make sure that I am setting the example for my kids — especially my teen daughter — about how important this is! Here is a list of five ways you can start to love who YOU are this year.
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
There’s a saying that the grass is always greener on the other side, but I disagree. In this age of social media, where people spend 30 minutes to get the perfect selfie to post on Instagram, it’s easy to say “look at her — she has her life together. Her house is perfect, her kids are angels, I wish I was her.” But we have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. We end up comparing ourselves to these carefully curated posts and photos that are not reality, and then, we feel like we’re failing. We’re not!
Treat yourself.
As moms, it’s kind of the norm to put everyone else’s needs first. However, we need to take time to do something for ourselves. Maybe it’s 15 minutes to read a book or scroll TikTok. Maybe you want to take a relaxing bath before bed. Maybe you like to run or work out. Make time for yourself each day — you’ll feel refreshed and recharged, and you deserve it!
Create boundaries.
This is a big challenge if you are a people pleaser! When we take on too much, or we don’t put our foot down with people who are taking advantage of us, we are only hurting ourselves. It is okay to say no — in fact, remember that “no” is a complete sentence.
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Embrace who you are, right now.
It’s easy to say “If I lost 30 pounds,” or “If I had xyz,” you would be happy. We have to start embracing who we are, perceived flaws and all, right now. There is no such thing as perfection. We are all a work in progress!
Speak kindly to yourself.
This might be the hardest one of all. I still struggle with this daily! We often, without realizing it, have this inner monologue that sounds an awful lot like Regina George — chastising ourselves for making a mistake, telling us we’re not pretty enough, thin enough, or smart enough. We say these things to ourselves so much that we start to believe them. Next time these thoughts pop up, try thinking, “If someone said these things to my kids, how would I feel? What would I want someone to say instead?” Start saying those kind things to yourself. It will probably feel weird or silly at first, but that is because it will take time to retrain your thoughts!
Making a New Year’s resolution is expected, but you don’t have to change anything about yourself. Maybe instead, your resolution should be to just embrace exactly who you are.
Are you making a New Year’s resolution?
